Coping with the Loss of a Pet
A Serious Grief
Apr 1, 2009 Kathy Schlossmacher
Family pets hold an important place in people's lives. They serve as companions, guardians and stress reducers for many folks. When that pet passes on, the feelings are many times just as intense as the loss of a human family or friend. This loss needs to be recognized as the loss that it is in people's lives.
Coping with the Experience
When this happens it is important to remember that sad feelings will be strong. There may also be a gap in people's lives that lies heavy on the mind. All of these feelings are perfectly normal and to be expected at such a time. The feelings should not be ignored and neither should a person deny that these feelings exist.
What to Do
For some people a ritualized experience, similar to a funeral can help add closure to the feelings of sadness. It is good to celebrate the joy that the pet brought the family by remembering the high points of the family's experience with the pet.
Talking is important at this time for both children and adults. Admitting the sense of loss and talking about how deep one felt about the animal can go a long way in helping one to cope with the feelings.
Children may feel the loss very deeply and may find it especially comforting to talk about the fun they had in caring for and playing with the pet.
Take out those pictures of the passed on animal and remember the context within which they were taken. These memories can help remind the owner that the cat or dog or whatever pet was a very vibrant part of their lives. This is especially important if the animal dies after a long illness, where the owner may be bothered by the memories of the illness from which the animal suffered.
Take Time to Heal
Don't run out to get another pet. Both children and adults realize that any loved being cannot be easily replaced by another. Give the family time to suffer and heal from the grief associated with the death before trying to find another pet.
Be realistic that these feelings will take some time to heal. Be nice to one's self and to children suffering from the loss. A special treat like favorite foods or distracting activities can help the healing to go more smoothly and less traumatically, especially for children.
Celebrate the Pet
Above all carry around those positive memories inside. Be willing to share those memories and enjoy remembering them in the days ahead. Keep in mind in getting a new pet that those good memories will be triggered by the addition of a new animal and that they are important to celebrate.
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