How to Deal With the Future Loss of a Pet
Coping and Preparations for the Death of the Family Pet
Sep 25, 2009
Death is something that can scare or upset most people. This is certainly true not only when it comes to spouses, family members, friends, but people in general. However, for many people, the same holds true for animals as well. Particularly, the loss of a pet or domestic animal is something many wish to not think about or become upset when confronted with. This is especially true if the pet lives with young children or if a person grew up with the childhood pet who no longer is in good health.
Having a Pet Who is Getting Older
Animals are much like humans. As they age, there may be need for more frequent visits to the vet for more lab work or for treatment of various ailments. Eye sight and/or hearing may decrease and mobility declines. That said, most will take the best care to make these pets comfortable in final days, months, and years and try to prolong life. By this time, there is an increased bond between pet and owner.
This is especially true when a family has grown up with children and pets. The children may not have known life before the puppy or kitten, or been too young to remember what it was like not to have the pet following them down the hall, running out the front door on them, or rummaging through the garbage can for whatever "toys" could be found or mess could be made.
That said, it is essential to prepare children for the final stages of the pet's life. Encourage them to let an animal rest rather than play with them until the pet is too tuckered out. This is especially true with young children, who have a harder time realizing when an animal is too tired and needs a break. Likewise, find out if now-adult children who may not live at home want to know when the animal is nearing death or has passed away.
While incredibly hard to do, one may want to discuss whether or not the family will do anything and everything for the pet, or if there is a limit financially. The same goes with whether or not the animal will be put down if the ailment is unable to be fixed and/or the animal's quality of life is suffering. This is more a discussion for the adults in particular, but is something no one likes to talk about and too often will likely avoid.
When a Pet Passes Away
Even if vets and families try everything, death is something all humans and animals encounter and survivors experience. Some families have comfort in carrying out a funeral or burial of sorts of the animal with favorite blankets, toys, and other mementos. Others still rather have the vet hospital take care of matters.
Adults need to be prepared for costs involved in case the animal needs to travel one last time to an animal hospital or if the illness is prolonged for costs and the need for someone to be at the residence to check up on the animal and be there for it in its final times. This can be difficult emotionally to deal with, so having an outlet to discuss the issues with and friends to rely on can be of great comfort.
The Effects of a Pet's Death on Children
If young children are affected, it is important to comfort them and let them know it is okay to cry or be sad and that adults are always there to talk about things. If triggers like pictures or discussing memories seem to make things worse, it is okay to put these items away or mimimize discussion so as to minimize the immediate effect on the child and/or even the adult owner of the pet.
With time, the child may want to talk more about the pet. This may include questions about death and what happened. It is most important to be honest, to listen, and to give age-appropriate answers. Avoid euphemisms that may confuse or upset the child further, but do keep note of sensitivity levels of children as well as levels of comprehension. Encouraging children to draw or write about the pet may be helpful.
If there seem to be changes in emotion for a prolonged length of time or with other indicators of depression like anger, please seek care for a child. The death of the pet may have been the hardest thing the child may have experienced thus far in life, so it is of utmost importance to give the child the ability or the tools and aid to heal, no matter what level and intensity level of help is needed.
With time, the memories will still be there, but happy times and pictures of the pet will make things a little easier to cope with over time. The family may choose to take in a new pet or a different type of animal. That said, the effects of the pet's aging and eventual death will change individuals and affect them in different ways, different times, and with different triggers. Keep in mind to be there for one another and for the pet too.
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