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Posted by Charla Dawson Apr 30, 2006 |
1."He's nice at home." - This statement is always said after their dog has gone ballistic and tried to attack the doctor, and in some cases has already taken a nice tasty bite out of the technician. This is usually the dog who, during his outburst, has diarrhea all over the joint and needs cleaned up. It's never fun or easy to bathe a dog who is trying to go for your jugular. After all of this, all the owner has to say for the dog is, "He is nice at home."
2."Really, I only feed him one cup of food a day" - This always comes from the people with the pet who is a good 20 - 30 pounds over weight. It is hard to put a pet on a diet, but geez, 1 cup of food a day? Who do you think you're kidding?
3."He doesn't look emaciated to me?" - On the other end of the spectrum. pets who are to skinny. If I can count your pets ribs and the hip bones jutting out, then yes your pet is thin. This comment was actually made to a girl I work with. The owner called to check on his dog, his pet was seizing from undernourishment. But the dog didn't look emaciated to him?
4. "Did she swallow that?" - This question was asked to one of the doctors I work for. Now I wouldn't normally find this question funny but this person was asking this about a bladder stone. Now granted, not everybody works in the medical field, but I thought most people understood that bladder stones weren't swallowed.
5."Is there anyway to get my "fixed" dog pregnant?" - I took a call from someone who was first asking about artificial insemination, which is commonly done in the veterinary world, then this person went on to tell me that the doctor had "fixed" both of his dogs. I clarified with the gentlemen that the male and female he intended to breed were spayed and neutered, they were. I then had to break the news that once they are "fixed" they are "fixed" for good. During a spay the females uterus and ovaries are removed and during a neuter the males testicles are removed so there is no breeding going on.
6."It just happened this morning." - This statement always makes me laugh because if your pet has a big infected wound the doctor can tell, or at least give an educated guess, as to how old it is. A lot of times the owner didn't see anything happen and just noticed it this morning. Regardless, we know the gapping, infected, pus-filled wound didn't happen this morning.
7."My dog just got hit by a car and it won't stop crying, what's wrong with it?" - True story. This guy calls my clinic and asks me this question. He thought that as long as the dog wasn't bleeding it didn't have anything wrong with it. I explained the risk of internal bleeding, broken bones, and the need for veterinary care. The guy hung up on me. Nice fella, huh? Poor dog.
8."I don't want to neuter my dog because he won't feel like a "man". - Do I really need to say more? We get this a lot. YOUR DOG IS NOT A MAN!
9."Why can't I breed a brother and a sister?" - Again, do I really need to say more. It's called inbreeding, people shouldn't do it and animals shouldn't do it either.
10. "Do I have to pay today?" - This is a favorite for me because I understand that money is tight. But if people don't pay their bill then the veterinary clinic can't pay their staff. Some people actually believe that because we love animals we should work for free. Sorry folks, I have a mortgage too.